Telling A New Girl About My Herpes Diagnosis

by Kurt

I wonder if this has happened to anyone out there. When I went to my doctor recently to get a blood test for herpes, he basically refused to give it to me. He said that these tests are unreliable and to not worry about having herpes if I don't have the classic signs (ie-blisters, pain, swollen lymph nodes, discharge, etc...)

He said I didn't need to know and he advised me to use condoms during sex and to not worry about it. Nobody outside my ex-wife and doctor know about my 'herpes' situation. I have been tested and I do not have any other STDs.

I haven't been blood tested but I'm almost positive I have genital herpes. My symptoms are relatively mild. I have no visible signs of it, no blisters, no discharge or redness. What does happen is I get a tingling inside my penis in my urethra about 1 inch or so from the opening. My inner thighs sometimes become hot and slightly itchy. No pain at all, just an irritation that I know is there. It recurs about every other month and lasts from a few days up to a few weeks. The worst it happened was immediately after my divorce, it lasted for four continuous stressful months.

Has anyone else experienced these symptoms only, without blisters, discharge or pain?

When it first happened, I went to a clinic where I was examined and swabbed. That test came back negative. They told me my symptoms were all in my head (based on the fact that my ex-wife was diagnosed positive a month before). It was a very happy moment for me, like I dodged a bullet.

It did make me become more keenly aware of my body. I noticed that if I ejaculated, the tingling would return. If I played vigorous sports, the tingle would appear. It has affected me and caused me to be guarded and to not want to have sexual relations with anyone, although I have had a few one night stands were I practiced safe sex.

Now I have met a great woman. We haven't slept together yet but it is inevitable. With this new girl, I see potential for a serious relationship. I have decided to tell her my situation.

This could put me into a 'bad' place. I was set up with her by a good friend (who has no idea of my issue). Although she doesn't seem like this kind of a person, when I tell her, she could reject me and 'out' me to my friend and to other people I know. I guess in some way it would be a relief, as I am tired of hiding my affliction. I know I need a blood test to confirm my suspicions but if I tell her and then get a negative blood test, that would be OK.

If positive, then at least I was honest with her before I put her at risk. I am going to recommend she get a blood test too.

I cannot in good conscience be with her sexually and not tell her. So on my date with her this weekend, I am going to tell her and hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Any advice?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Genital Herpes Story.

FREE Home Study Course Living With Genital Herpes

Enter your email address below to join our monthly

Herpes Newsletter
and receive your copy of
Living With Genital Herpes!
A $19 Value!
Yours FREE just for signing up TODAY!

Enter Your E-mail Address
Enter Your First Name (optional)

Don't worry — your e-mail address is totally secure.
I promise to use it only to send you Talking About Our "Little Visitor".

Get A Free Report The 5 Critical Mistakes People Make When Having
The Herpes Talk