Newly Diagnosed With Genital Herpes

by RKS
(Alberta, Canada)

Hello All!

I just surfed into this website and love it. Anyway, I was just diagnosed with genital herpes two weeks ago. I thought it would be a good idea for myself and my boyfriend of 3 months to get tested before we 'did' anything. I have it, he doesn't.

Both of our doctor's act like it's no big deal...just use a condom. I'm usually a very confident 42 y/o female, but I've suddenly become insecure. I'm afraid he'll leave me because of this. He doesn't know what to do. We seem perfectly matched. Now we have this obstacle. What do you do when one has genital herpes and the other doesn't?

Last night things were getting really heated and I just burst into tears because I knew we couldn't make love. Someone please tell us what to do. If we stay together as a couple, is he destined to get herpes?

Hello RKS!

Thank you for visiting our site and for your nice comment. I have been in two long term relationships for a total of 13 years and neither partner ever contracted the virus. This is not to say that it could never happen because it can. BUT with the right knowledge and precautionary measures it is possible to have a relationship with someone without infecting your partner.

In order for you to keep your relationship strong you must remain confident. Gather as much information as possible about genital herpes, treatments, transmission rates, etc and then share it with your partner. You BOTH will learn to know when its safe to have sex and when it isn't. If he decides that he doesn't want to take the risk then you must respect his decision and know that it's not a reflection on you as a loving person.

Listen, genital herpes is now a part of you just like your nose, fingers, toes, etc. It should not define you as a person.

Keep us posted!

To your success and happiness!


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