Hi. I am a 19 year old girl recently diagnosed with general herpes. I found out not even a week ago, and I have been very paranoid about spreading it to parts of my body. For example one time I accidentally touched it, worrying I'll get it on one of my fingers, then if I accidentally touch the bottom of my cigarettes, I'll be worried it will spread to my mouth. Small things like that, recently my life has been overtaken with these types of paranoid thoughts. Now the thought of having sex repulses me, from sexual posts on the Facebook that I often see, to sexual lyrics in music. I lay in bed and worry about the pain of an outbreak and cannot shake the thoughts that I'm going to have this for the rest of my life and theres nothing I can do about it. Every little pain or itch anywhere on my body, I am worried I will get it there. I wish I could say that I'm at peace with myself right now but I think it will take awhile, and that life will go on. But as of now I cant seem to shake these obsessive thoughts. Anyone else having the same experience? Also, I have guys that I have messed with in the past and I worry and feel bad about having to ignore them, cause I'm sure as hell not telling anyone. Im sure I havent passed it on to anyone because my cousin who has it passed it on to some girl who ended up screwing around with a guy that I was f*cking, and ive been tested two times this year. After messing with that guy my 2nd test came back positive. I just feel bad for ignoring these guys even though I know all they want is sex. And I worry that if I do want to have sex at all it will have to be with the guy that infected me so I dont end up passing it on to anyone else.
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