How and Where Did I Get Genital Herpes?

by marjorie ann

I was diagnosed with Herpes. My husband and I have been married for 12 years now. We never have outside-marital-sex, we never did it with anyone else since we got married.

We are both wondering why I got genital herpes recently? Is it possible that one of us has it even before we met and we just didn't know it? Is it possible that one of us acquired it from our past relationships but never had manifestations until recently?

I've noticed though that both of us get mouth-sores sometimes, about 1 to 2 blisters. I remember him telling me that he just had a mouth sore, then a few days after, we had an oral and sexual intercourse. It was right after the contact I've noticed that I have genital blisters and were confirmed herpes by my OB.

I am hoping that I could get the answers. I am feeling so helpless and low spirited. Our marriage have been strong and spirited but I am now loosing confidence because of the situation.

Yes it is possible that one of both of you have had the herpes simplex virus for many years and didn't know it. It is estimated that 90% of the people who currently have HSV2...don't know it!

There are many reasons for this but it all boils down to this...the determining factor is a person's immune system. For the people who have strong immune systems and who living reasonably healthy lifestyles, their outbreaks can be fewer and less severe than people whose immune systems are a little weaker due to various reasons.

You have probably had outbreaks before now..especially since it's been so long since you've had sex with another person besides your spouse. Your symptoms were so mild that they were overlooked or mistaken for another condition.

Your husband should be tested too. You both may have it. He should get tested as soon as possible. His results will have a high impact on your treatment options. For example: if he has HSV then you may decide not to treat the virus or you may decide to only treat it during outbreaks. If he doesn't have it then you'll want to treat it more aggressively to protect him. I believe that he probably has the virus too.

Unless you both were tested specifically for HSV BEFORE you were married there is really no conclusive way to know who gave you the virus or when you got it.

Thank you for sharing your question with our community.

Keep in touch and let us know how how you're doing.

Wishing you success and happiness!


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Mar 26, 2013
Very similar story
by: Anonymous

I was recently diagnosed with hsv1 & hsv2. I married my high school sweetheart. He has not been tested yet till next week but what do I have to look out for or request for his exam? My husband claims I was his first and only partner sexually and I definitely have never been with another man so what's going on here? Ocassionally he gets mouth sores but has a whole lifetime pretty much and never thought nothing of them because they went away and he always thought he got them by walking barefoot and/or during a flu. I'm so confused.

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