Herpes is the best thing to ever happen to me!
OK, now I have your attention. I'll explain my headline in a few paragraphs, but first some history.
I contracted genital herpes two years ago from a person who did not disclose her infection to me. I went to the doctor after the first symptom and he casually said, "you have herpes, wear a condom and don't have sex during an outbreak". So, my first reaction was like, OK, no big deal.
But then I read internet stories and all of a sudden I felt it was a BIG deal. I had already had sex with other women (protected) but I had not had the "conversation". Now I needed to have this conversation with potential new partners.
All of this sparked a renaissance in my thinking and changed me for the better. Instead of casually hopping in and out of bed with women whenever I felt like it, I now had to think about whether she was high enough potential to learn about my infection. Thus I started to look for higher quality partners. Partners with more long term potential.
Yes, I felt lonely at times. Even desperate on occassion. Then one day I met a magical person. An amazing woman who seemed to have dropped into my life from Heaven. We began an immediate love affair. I grew intensely scared about sharing my story with her.
One day during a casual conversation I asked her, "how is your health". A little confused by the question she started describing that she sometimes had a gassy stomach. I laughed at her cuteness and honesty. Then, in turn, she asked me about mine. I told her about my recent fitness test at the local gym which was stellar. Then I said, "also, I sometimes get rashes on my body." She said, "rashes? where". And I pointed to the spot. I told her that it is possible for me to give the rashes to her.
I don't know what I looked like at that moment but I'm sure it was somewhere between terrified and near-death. Her response
after a few pulses was something like, "well, when I choose a partner I have to accept everything about them." I was totally amazed. I found a woman who knew the value of a strong relationship. She is now my fiance and we are very happy together. She is still negative after 9 months together.
How has Herpes helped me? For starters, I was able to rethink my partner selection criteria and began looking for higher quality partners. I de-emphasized sex during the initial startup with new women and often I was the one holding off on sex until we knew each other better. I stopped with most new women before having sex and avoided the disclosure of my infection.
Second, now that I have the woman I want to marry, I am bound and determined to make our relationship work. It has to work. I will not allow it to needlessly fail. She is remarkable and definitely will make an awesome wife.
I believe that I will make a more stable husband because there is no way I will go off and try to find side romance. Think about it, to have an affair would require me to either a) disclose my infection to my paramour, or b) not disclose and run the risk of infecting someone. I can't imagine scenario b ending positively for anyone involved.
In the two years since my diagnosis I had the "conversation" with 4 women. One of them ended things with me almost immediately, albeit politely. One other proceeded with the relationship and became sexual with me, but after a few weeks her fear of the disease overcame her and she stopped with me. The 3rd woman actually had the infection herself, but we lacked the components of a long-term relationship. The fourth woman will become my wife and I'm thrilled to think of her as the last woman I will ever have sex with.
I encourage you to stay strong and positive. Positive attitudes attract positive results. You will find a person who cares about all of you.