Heart Broken From Telling Someone About Herpes

by Nancy B
(San Diego, CA)

I managed to live with herpes for over ten years. I have made a couple of mistakes along the way. I made such a terrible mistake with my last partner and did not tell him before we had sex. The reasons why I did not tell him were irresponsible and ill thought. I thought it would be a one night stand. It turned out that he was thoughtful, intelligent, hardworking, and monogamous. We were a hit. But I did not know how to tell him after we had already had sex. It took 2 1/2 months before I told him and he was devastated. We spoke about marriage, he adored me, and I lost him. He never spoke to me again and I lost one of , if not the most, promising relationships I have ever had.

I thought I would know when a good relationship would appear, that it would start slow, but ours began really quickly. So quick, we had sex with one another within a half an hour of our first date. I regret not telling him, I regret not giving him a choice. Now I am devastated, and I hope that one day it won't hurt so much to be without him.

Hi Nancy and Thank you for sharing your story. Don't be so hard on yourself...If he couldn't see that your actions were driven by fear and pain then he probably would not have been a good choice for a long-term partner. I know that the trust issue is hard to overcome but you want to know something? Good and healthy relationships can overcome it.

I don't want you to get discouraged or mad but I have a feeling that your BF was probably looking for an opportunity to bolt. And you provided a great opening for him to leave and not look like the bad guy by breaking up with you.

I know it sounds weird but it does happen. Think about it. My gut tells me that herpes was just the tool and not the reason he left.

Keep your head up! Learn from this and you'll be a stronger and more focused woman. Two very attractive qualities that "quality" men desire!

Keep us updated! I have another feeling that he might be back!

To your success and happiness,


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