Genital Herpes - Feeling Bad About Myself

by HerpesJim
(Provo, Utah)

I've just learned that I have genital herpes..I guess the ulcers on the end of my penis should have been the first sign. I had a blood test a few months ago that was negative, and shortly after started a new relationship. Is it possible that the blood test I had before was not accurate? Can herpes hide in the blood if you have never had an outbreak? I love this girl and am afraid that this is going to wreck our relationship. She knows about it, because I have told her, and she has been to get a blood test as well, but we do not yet have the results. If I had it, and gave it to her, I am going to feel horrible, if she had it and gave it to me, I guess I don't really care, assuming that she didn't know...and even then, I can't imagine how hard it would be to tell a new partner that you have herpes..

Any ideas, words of advice, or thoughts, big of a deal is this really? How will this change our sex lives?

Hi H-Jim! Welcome to our community and my website. Thank you for taking the time to submit your question. I know that your life may seem to be upside down but trust me...we'll get it back on track.

I'm just going to dive in and answer your question about herpes testing. Yes, it is very possible that your last herpes blood test was wrong.

If you had been recently exposed to the virus and then had a blood test, a false negative could result because your body had not had enough time to build antibodies to the virus. A herpes blood test doesn't directly detect the virus. It works by detecting the antibodies. It could take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a few months before your body can build up enough antibodies for a test to be able to detect them.

I sincerely hope that this relationship "mole hill" doesn't turn into a "mountain". I mean come on, does it really matter who passed the virus to who? No.

What matters now is to learn everything you can about the virus to control it, learn to live with it and if your GF tests negative, learn to protect her.

If it turns out that your GF has a negative result, you should immediately begin taking antiviral medication, refrain from sex during outbreaks and wear a condom to protect her. If you don't really like the thought of taking antiviral medications, I highly recommend reading Herpes Antidote.

In a few months she should be tested again to confirm the negative result.

You asked if this is a big deal and how will it affect your sex life. In a nutshell, it depends really on how well you and her handle the diagnosis. If one of you can't handle it well, then your sex will suffer too. If both of you look at herpes for what it really is, a skin irritation, then the only real affect will be refraining from sex a few weeks a year.

Don't be a stranger! Let us know how things progress and feel free to ask other questions as they arise. Remember, knowledge is power.

To your success and happiness!


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Mar 17, 2016
Not sure
by: Anonymous

I had a one nights stand with this woman and the next morning I had this rash on my penis, felt more like poison ivy more than anything, went to doctor for blood test and said I had blisters or anything like everyone else is describing, had them systems for about two years, that was fourteen years ago, nothing since, could that have been another strain of herpes, and if so why are they gone

Jun 25, 2011
by: Anonymous

My doctor gave me some valtrex - will this make the sores go away, or do I need something else? I had two small ones that were almost gone before the med, now I have a new one.

Valtrex will help speed up the healing process, help reduce viral shedding and help reduce the pain during herpes outbreaks.

I've found that taking 500 mg of Valtrex daily significantly reduces the number of outbreak that I experience.

There are all kinds of things that you could do while on Valtrex. Taking vitamin supplements, change your diet, get more exercise (just don't over do it) and experiment with other all natural methods.

The important thing to keep in mind is that the virus reacts differently in everybody. There is no one-size-fits-all remedy or treatment option. You'll have to experiment to find what combination works best for you.


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