Feelings of Shame With Genital Herpes Diagnosis

by ANGEL
(COVINGTON GA)

I was recently diagnosed two days ago with genital herpes. I received a call a week after a routine checkup and a PAP Smear telling me that I had genital herpes. I also got tested for Sexual Transmitted Diseases, which by the way was my boyfriend's idea. I never thought that I would get a call telling me that I had genital herpes!


When looking back on my situation I've had to have had it for more than six months. The funny thing about it is that I have not had any signs or symptoms of having herpes. So as you can imagine, I was in total shock when I got the call.

I feel like my love life has come to an end and I don't even want to date anymore. My feelings for my boyfriend have even changed because I don't want to infect him.

I'm kind of withdrawing myself from my relationship with him and ironically enough, before my diagnosis, I believed that he was the love of my life.

As of right now, I've known my boyfriend for about two years however we've just recently started dating. He has become my best friend and I just can't find the words to tell him that I have genital herpes because I feel that he will not accept it and reject me.

I'm thinking about getting another STD test because I'm very sensitive to a lot of things and I simply can't understand why I have not had an outbreak.

I have not told anyone because I'm simply feel too ashamed. I've spent countless hours researching genital herpes information and the more I read the more depressed I become.

Before being diagnosed with herpes I really wanted to have a family with children and a white picket fence. But I'm not sure that dream is even possible anymore.

Right now I can't even imagine having sex again. My sexual desire has went all the way down to zero.

Thank you for sharing your story with our community. I know that you feel extremely bad right now and believe me when I tell you that it will get better in time. Your desire for everything that you want in life will eventually take over the grip that HSV has on it right now. Don't give this annoying and irritating skin rash more power than it really has.

Listen, it sounds like you've got yourself a very special guy that you love deeply and a special relationship that is built on a solid foundation of friendship. Now it's time to show him just how much you love and respect him and tell him about your HSV diagnosis.

Realistically, you are a lot further a head of most people who email me and post here. You have already found that special person. Now have faith in your relationship and don't be fearful of rejection. He's liable to be more disappointed in you keeping this from him than genital herpes itself.

I know that you don't realize this now but these types of things...these stumbling blocks that life seems to put in our way are the very things that allow us to grow as a person. Enjoy life again and embrace the turmoil and storms along the way. This is how we're tested. This is how our souls are chiseled to perfection.

Wishing you success and happiness!

Ed
LWGH

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