Don't know how or if I should proceed?
I recently met a fantastic woman who has advised me in advance that she has herpes. Before I continue, that in itself spoke volumes of her character. I thanked her for her honesty and told her that I know a little about the condition, but not enough to say whether or not it would be a deal breaker. She uses suppressive therapy and has only had one outbreak (the initial) in 5 yrs. I am not fond of condoms, but they aren't 100% effective against prevention either.
For now I have told her that he shouldn't have premarital sex as that is the way it should be; moreover, should I contract the condition, at least the love will help ease the pain. However, the reality is that we will probably end up having sex before marriage.
I don't know what to do. She is a wonderful person, that I could see myself loving.
Please feel free to supply your thoughts on this site or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.orgThank you for sharing your situation with our community. It's not very often that I get questions from people who don't have herpes and are in relationships with people who do. I'm sure that there are many who share your situation.
However, I don't have a lot of great wisdom or advice for you. The reason is because whether or not to have sex with your new friend is solely your choice. I feel that it would be irresponsible of me to advise you either way.
But I do have a little bit of advise for you...You should check out and gather as much information as you can about HSV and make your decision based on the facts and not based on the misinformation out there and the stigma surrounding the virus.
As you stated, your friend has an amazing character that speaks louder than the virus.
Whatever you decide to do, take this time to get to know her better. There is no rush in having sex since you seem to be set on waiting until marriage anyway.
In the end, after doing your own research if you feel that the risk is not worth the reward then you should have the courage to tell her in an open an honest way. This will reveal your character so don't just string her along and distancing yourself from the relationship without a conversation explaining your true feelings.
Wishing you Success and Happiness,