Are you dating someone with herpes? If you have been dating someone for any length of time and she has told you that she has the herpes simplex virus, then you probably have many questions lingering from your conversation.
The most common information that most people are trying to find is learning how to reduce your chances of getting this little virus. There are many facts about the transmission rates but keep one important thing in mind, everybody is different.
There are several variables that must be taken into consideration such as:
How long has your friend had herpes? Often the longer a person has the virus the less frequent and less severe their outbreaks will be. Also, it’s been proven that viral shedding is drastically reduced after the first year after becoming infected thus reducing the chances of spreading the virus to you.
Does your friend take anti-viral medications such as Valtrex for suppressive therapy? The FDA has approved Valtrex as a medication for reducing viral shedding and dramatically reducing the transmission rates.
What type of herpes virus does your friend have? This is
important to know because often a person who has HSV-1 on their genitals
or genital region, will not experience as many outbreaks as a person
who has HSV-2 or genital herpes. And again, this reduces your chances of getting it.
If you have been dating someone with herpes for a significant amount of time and just found out that they have HSV, then you may have suspected that they were unfaithful in your relationship.
Whether or not this is true remains to be seen but just because your friend was diagnosed while in a relationship with you does not necessarily mean that they have been unfaithful.
Because as many as 90% of people who are infected with the virus show no signs or symptoms. Another thing to think about is perhaps their symptoms have been so mild that they were overlooked in the past. It is likely that they may have become infected years before ever meeting you. It is also possible that the virus remained hidden in their body and this was the first time that it has caused any symptoms.
The bottom line (pun intended) is that maybe your partner didn't cheat and is totally innocent and has been simply victimized by the virus.
Another thing to consider is that your friend may have caught the herpes simplex virus from YOU!
This crazy virus affects everybody differently and you may have been one of the 90% who has the virus and didn’t know it until you unknowingly passed it on to your partner. The virus may have been totally invisible to you but caused severe outbreaks in your friend.
The point of all of this is with the herpes simplex virus nothing is as simple as it appears. This virus is extremely individualized and affects each one of us differently. I can only cite my own experiences and those that are common but in the end, we all don't experience the same symptoms or outbreaks.
The herpes stigma is very powerful in today’s society and it has probably taken your friend a great deal of courage to discuss this very personal and sensitive subject with you. This should show you that your friend has a great deal of integrity. And remember that integrity is the foundation of a truly meaningful relationship and dating someone with herpes is no different.
Here are a few simple tips while moving forward in your relationship:
The risk of becoming infected with the herpes simplex virus is relatively high when dating within the general population. With as many as 90% of the 50 million people in the United States not knowing that they have herpes and the ability to transmit it, you are probably at a much lesser risk of contracting it from dating someone with herpes, who already knows they have it and recognizes their symptoms and manages their outbreaks effectively.
I'd strongly recommend that you never stop dating someone with herpes or break off a relationship based solely on a herpes infection especially if you think you’ve found that 1 in 100 exceptional person.
People who have found themselves dating or in a relationship with someone who has been diagnosed with genital herpes often have a lot of questions. Please share yours here and we will answer them as soon as possible.
Do have any personal experiences dating someone with herpes? Do have any advice for others who may be facing a similar situation?
Share your thoughts below!
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